A Letter to Headhunters
My current contract runs out at the end of the year, so I updated and activated my online resume on Sunday. The initial response was rather overwhelming. Most headhunters are very professional and do their job. Some, however, are idiots. I’d like to address these few idiots.
Read my fucking resume, you moron! Where the hell did you get the idea that I’m a PHP developer? Yes, PHP is mentioned, but if you had actually read my work history you would have seen that PHP coding was a very minor function. A PHP (or any other language) developer would have listed numerous instances of developing major web applications. He would have proudly touted the websites that he was particularly proud of. You don’t see that on my resume, do you? Of course not. That’s because I’m a Linux system administrator. Anyone with half a brain would know that by reading my work history.
Your job, as a headhunter, is to match up companies with the right talent. That means you read resumes to narrow down the search. Yes, you can use keyword searches to reduce the number of resumes you read, but you don’t rely on those bare results. You read them, you look at the jobs you have to fill, then you send off an email to the job hunter to see if he is interested. You don’t go directly from keyword search to automated letter because this is just going to annoy the hell out of me and get you placed on my blacklist. Yes, I do have a blacklist. It’s reserved for headhunters that are obviously too stupid or too lazy to trust.
Fortunately, most of the headhunters already know this. I received some excellent prospects (on the very first day!). The requirements of these positions closely match my skill-set as laid out very clearly in my resume. These headhunters are professionals and have my respect.
So what are you? A moron or a professional? Those of you who already sent me developer positions, it’s too late. Perhaps you can learn from your mistake. Do your job right and maybe you won’t piss off the next guy with an impressive resume. The professionals hope you continue being an idiot.
UPDATE: Julia at Nelson Technology, a technical recruiting company, deserves special recognition for not doing her job. I just received an email from her for a position that I would be absolutely perfect doing. I would be perfect because it’s for my current job that I am leaving! Julia obviously did not read my resume since, if she had, she would have seen the name of the company I’m at is very clearly listed.
